my dad
my dad
my dad left the world with the most heartbreaking shit and i will think abou it til i'm gone but i remember drinking with my dad in his garage with his guitar setup his problems he had with his own dad meanwhile i'm looking at my dad for help my biggest influence and my keyboard batteries are dying as i type this which is so funny my dad gave me his martin my dad taught me all i know as an adult i started falling fast and he just lost his wife and i'm like i'm your son i needed him for help and he needed us, i won't judge any of the decisions he made at the end of his life i hope he was happy when we fell off i needed him as a father the most and he pushed us away back into his batcave but when i found out how lost he was at the end there i just wish he died happy he stoped playing guitar in the garage and who knows what i wasnt there for it i remember his guitars and during the pandemic over half of those guitars i had never seen family trying to give me his guitars from that era like i wasn't there these guitars mean nothing but my aunt husband who is the coolest dude ever showed me one that has a cutout at the top and a speaker that guitar actually cool and i want it but aunt husband has a bunch of awesome ass cigar box guitars and i want those more musically i'd talk with my dad my biggest influence and be like no shoegaze is the shit and he'd be listening to anything with the basic ass chords and i'd be like no music is so much more but is it the best memory of my dad from that era is in a hurricane at maui scattering my mom's ashes into the ocean sugar beach and the waves were so big and he was body surfing and looked so happy
i went out with friends last night and we all were warm by each others glow and no one wanted to leave sam bought way too many tots with the sauce sam venmo me my friends have familes now some of my friends figuring it out and i'm showing up as my self in the way i remember my parents moving the way i was a kid and their friends life will show you your wrongs and faults at some point they will also show you that the place you come from is your biggest strengths i exist as the person i do and i tried to show my dad how i was making some fire shit and maybe he didnt understand but the soul remains i am cut from that cloth
i have no reason not to be the person i am and i owe that to my parents and their love and i am the walking definition of the love of my parents my dad taught me a lot and from his faults i maybe learned the most he gave me a guitar and i wanted to change the tuning that's why i don't ever play in standard tuning just let me do whatever i want to do but i do that with the threads of all that passion of music, all the springsteen songs the human element of it all that is what music is about
dad was so flawed and i love him for all he is and i as his son will invent some new stuff and be great love you dad